Adoption is one of the three options you have for your unplanned pregnancy. Like the other two, abortion or parenting, adoption is not an easy choice to make. However, depending on your current life situation, it could be the best decision for you and your child. Adoption allows you to be a mom without day-to-day responsibilities if you are not ready to be a parent. It is another parenting option.
Myths About Adoption
“I will be giving my child to strangers.”
TRUTH: Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, as the birthmother, you will know more about the adoptive family than many people. When you work with an agency, potential adoptive families fill out profiles. They share all types of information, such as their life growing up to how they met their spouse. They add photos and other memorable details and are required to have full background checks. You choose the family that is right for you and your child.
“My child will hate me.”
TRUTH: Today, most adoptions are “Open Adoptions.” With open adoption, you and the family you choose will share identifying information such as names, addresses, and phone numbers. You can correspond regularly and see your baby when it is comfortable for everyone. Often, birthmothers write their babies a letter to explain their reasons for choosing adoption. A message helps children understand the decision was made out of love and a concern for their well being.
“Children who are adopted have problems.”
TRUTH: Everyone has issues in their life they must confront. For adopted children, there is a different mix. In many cases, the success of the child depends on the relationship between adoptive family members and the birth family. Sharing health records, family history, and the reason why adoption was chosen, helps a child understand. Every adopted child is different. Some have a deep need to know their biological families, and others are content to know the basics.
The Types of Adoption
There are three main types of adoption.
When the adoptive family and birth mother (and birth father, if involved) exchange identifying information such as names, addresses, and phone numbers, it is considered an “open adoption.” They have the opportunity to meet one another after the adoption and participate in everyone’s life events.
In a semi-open adoption, everything is handled through a third party, such as an adoption agency or adoption lawyer. The adoptive family and birth family share first names only. Any communication or visits are arranged by the third party.
In a closed adoption, no identifying information is exchanged. Birthmothers still choose the adoptive family, but they will have no interaction with the family or child. There is complete privacy.
Adoption Next Steps
There is a lot to consider with adoption. However, our counselors are available to share the adoption process with you and give you referrals to agencies. Once again, we want you to have as much information as possible to make the best choice for you. Please contact us if you’d like to learn more about this option.